Fassad's happy story
by happyfassadevilman
Summary: IT'S A STIRRING STORY ABOUT FRIENDSHIP, TRUST AND LEARNING TO LET GO. A story written on Facebook late at night, so please ignore spelling mistakes etc.
1. Chapter 1: A kind man

Once upon a time there lived a handsome man with a well groomed mustache. His name was Fassad  
He had to look after a stupid monkey by the name of [insert name] and the monkey was stupid and dumb and ugly but Fassad was kind hearted and looked after it even though it was a really dumb monkey.

So one day the handsome man with his dashing moustache went to an ugly little village, accompanied by the dumb monkey of course. There they found some fat kid and they gave him money. Then they stayed at an Inn which was filled with drunks and stupid women. As Fassad slept as soundly as he could in the uncomfortable bed, the stupid monkey cried. He was crying from the happiness he felt at being with a lovely man like Fassad of course.


	2. Chapter 2: The stirring speech

The next day Mister Fassad and his mostly worthless monkey woke up bright and early. After saying cheerful greetings to the drunks and whores in the Inn they walked to the centre of the ugly village. There the village simpletons started to crowd around in the hopes Fassad would give them food. But, no! Fassad gave them something much greater.

He gave a stirring speech about happiness whilst the stupid monkey accompanied him by dancing and jumping around and doing other silly things like that because he wanted the dumb villagers to notice him.  
When that handsome gentleman Fassad had finished his speech the very large crowd applauded him. After they were done Fassad mentioned a magical device called the "Happy Box". The villagers oohed and ahhed at this (although they didn't understand what Fassad was talking about because they were rednecks). Many people raised their hands. Fassad wasn't sure why they were raising their hands because he hadn't actually said for anyone to do so. Fassad politely asked the moronic villagers what they were raising their hands for.  
"We want one of 'em happy thingies, yehaw!" Said one particularly stupid villager who was wearing an ugly hat and dirty clothes.  
"Yeah, give us them boxes bro!" Added a smelly teenager with shoulder length orange hair and a big nose.  
"Oh, most certainly!" Said Fassad in delight. "Of course, my little monkey companion will bring these delightful boxes to you shortly."  
The stupid monkey nodded and jumped into the air, excited about the fact he would get to help the lovely and kind Fassad.


	3. Chapter 3: Delivering the boxes

So later that day the stupid monkey walked into the disgraceful graveyard and found a large amount of boxes lined up. The monkey remembered kind master Fassad's words as he stared at the boxes.  
"My dear sweet monkey," Fassad had said, "Wait for me at the graveyard. Those boxes are far to heavy for a monkey to carry. If you wait I shall arrive and carry them and you can lead the way to our customers houses."  
But the monkey, being a stupid and overly ambitious creature, decided to take on the task of carrying all the boxes himself. He dashed back and forth, delivering the boxes to the villagers, who were so impatient they were waiting outside their doors for the deliveries.  
The monkey, his back sore (it was his own stupid fault that he was in pain, however)- walked back to the inn to find Fassad just leaving.  
"Oh! Monkey! Where have you been? I just went to the graveyard but found all the boxes gone!"  
The stupid little monkey nodded his head at one of the houses nearby. Fassad gasped.  
"Are you telling me you delivered all the Happy Boxes yourself?"  
The pathetic monkey nodded.  
"Ah.." Fassad sighed, a sad smile playing on his lips. "You are a foolish monkey, but a very kind one too. Here, have a banana for your hard work."  
The monkeys ugly little eyes lit up at the site of the banana. He grabbed it (very impolite of him to do so I must say) and scoffed it down quick as a flash.  
Fassad laughed a warm and hearty laugh. "Come my little monkey friend. Let us return to the inn. I do believe you need a good nights sleep after all that box carrying."  
The dumb monkey nodded and the two walked side by side back to the inn, which now had even more drunks and prostitutes in it.  
Fassad slowly fell asleep-after worrying a bit about whether the dumb monkey would be in pain from carrying the boxes- and the monkey cried himself to sleep, happy in the knowledge that he had such a lovely man looking after him.


	4. Chapter 4: To the castle

The next morning the charming mister Fassad got a message on his walky-talky. It was one of his co-workers.  
"Oh, I do say, Mister Fassad! We have invaders in that castle we recently bought! Could you please hop along to the castle when you find the time so you can have a chat to these wreckless youths?"  
"Deary me!" Said Fassad, "Certainly, I shall be the right away!" Fassad turned to the dumbass little monkey who was staring at him, his little eyes full of simian curiousity. "Would you like to come with me, little monkey? You can stay here and sleep if you wish- I believe you deserve it."  
The monkey shook his big ugly head and made some horrible squeaking noises, the type of high pitch that makes you shudder with disgust.  
"You'd like to come along? Well, if you wish my friend. Hop on my shoulder."  
Soon Fassad and the dumb monkey arrived at the castle gate. There an old man was lying on the ground- he'd probably fallen over because he looked stupid like that.  
Fassad, being a kind gentleman, held out his hand and lifted the old man up. The old man stared at him and then said in a wavering voice; "I duunnna noo whoo yoorrraarr butt...." the man stopped. It seemed he'd forgotten what he was talking about. Fassad stared at the old man as he slowly wandered away, limping slightly.  
When the vague old man was out of distance Fassad looked at the dumb monkey and shrugged, a small smile on his face.  
"What a peculiar chap!" Fassad said as he and the stupid and pretty worthless monkey headed towards the castle door.

As Fassad and his stupid monkey companion entered the castle they heard a noise to their left. There, awaiting them was two of Fassads co-workers, both charming and handsome men (Though nowhere near as handsome as Fassad of course). The two were having a small fight with eachother. Fassad stepped in the middle, his arms outstretched.  
"Come now gentlemen!" He said softly but sternly. "What are we fighting about today?" He added with a laugh. These two always were argueing about something.  
"Well, mister Fassad sir! This guy said he saw the intruders go down the left path but I'm sure I saw them go through the door on the right!"  
Fassad chuckled. "Well now, my boys, why don't you" Fassad pointed at one of the co-workers, "go through the door you saw the intruders through, and you," he turned to the other one, "go through the door YOU saw them go through?"  
The two young men looked at eachother, than at Fassad, large grins on their face.  
"Really sir? Oh, why thank you! Goodbye sir!"

The stupid monkey shook his head at the two co-workers as they dashed through the doors.  
Fassad gave the stuck up asshole monkey a half smile. "They're very.. strong minded gentlemen. Always at each others necks, I must say.. Come along now, we'll go through this door up here."

As Fassad walked into a large corridor an intern ran up to him.  
"Mr Fassad, sir! The intruders.. They went this way!" He cried, pointing in the direction of one of the doors.  
"And you're sure?" Fassad asked slowly.  
The intern nodded. "Yes, yes!"  
Fassad folded his arms and nodded in reply. "Ok then. Send some people that way then, I'll meet up with them soon."  
The intern nodded again, admiring Fassad's brilliance and intelligence as Fassad walked past him in the direction the intern had pointed.


	5. Chapter 5: Young ruffians

Meanwhile, the wild, ill-mannered intruders were running wild inside the castle. Here and there they were breaking things. One of them, an ugly pink haired genderless creature was smashing brooms. Another, an ugly and smelly skinny man with a limp was ripping pretty cloaks apart. And a white haired little boy with a fuzzy face was kicking over garbage bins and practically anything else he could get his hands (or feet) on.  
Fassad would have to stop these nasty intruders soon, or else the lovely castle would be torn to bits!


	6. Chapter 6: The door

Fassad heard a distant crash and gulped. What could those ruffians be doing? He started to run in the direction he'd been told, the stupid, slow monkey trailing slowly behind. Along the way he saw some more co-workers. Without a word they pointed in the direction the intruders had gone.  
Soon Fassad came to a corridor where the walls were lined with strange drawings. Fassad peered at them curiously as he ran past.  
Suddenly he arrived at a strange, ugly door. It almost looked like a face. Fassad frowned in confusion; it seemed apparent that he wouldn't be able to open it easily.

Fassad stared at the door, frowning thoughtfully. He looked back at the walls and then at the door again. The stupid monkey at his feet scratched it's flees.  
Suddenly, a brainwave hit Fassad.

Fassad kneeled down to talk to the dumb monkey, a grin on his face.  
"Monkey, oh dear monkey! Do you think you could learn those dance moves on the wall? I think they may open the door!"  
The monkey scratched more as it stared at the wall. Eventually it nodded.  
Fassad clasped his hands together, his smile growing bigger.  
The monkey slowly walked back and forth between the entrance to the corridor and the mysterious door. Than, finally, it positioned itself in front of the door.  
Fassad took a step back, excited to see what the monkey would do.  
And then the monkey..

..Started dancing.

It danced wildly, like a man possessed. It's arms flailed back and forth, its legs moved faster than the naked eye could see. Before Fassad could understand what was happenng the monkey had struck a pose.  
Fassad stared at the still-stupid-but-slightly-less-useless monkey. Behind him he heard a grating noise. He turned to see the door open.  
He gave a laugh. "Hohoho! Monkey, you fantastic thing! You did it! You opened the door!"  
The monkey did a flip in happiness. Fassad smiled warmly at the stupid little creature.  
"Now, let us go and find these intruders, eh monkey?" He said happily.


	7. Chapter 7: Catching the intruders

As Fassad and the dumb little monkey wandered deeper and deeper into the cave they came across a group of co-workers.  
"'Lo boys!" Called Fassad, "What is happening here?"  
The co-workers turned and stood up straight. "We've got the intruders surrounded, sir! We'll get them now, for sure!"  
"Jolly good, jolly good.." Fassad said approvingly. "Where abouts are the scoundrels"  
"Up th.." The co-workers reply was interrupted by Fassad's walkie-talkie.  
"Mr Fassad sir! The intruders.. They've escaped.. into the water!"  
Fassad gave a grunt. How pesky these misfits are! "I'll take care of it." Fassad said into his walkie-talkie.

Fassad wandered deeper into the secret passages of the castle, and soon came across a lever.  
"This must control the water." He said the himself, "I'll pull it so we can capture those intruders."  
But before he could pull the lever the dumb and annoying monkey dashed over and pulled the lever himself.  
"O-oh!" Stuttered Fassad in shock before he regained his composure. "Good monk-" But before he could finish the sound of rushing water filled the air.  
Fassad turned to look at the flood of water that shot past. In it he saw the three intruders wash away in the fast flowing tide.  
"There they are!" He called proudly.

As the monkey stared at the rushing water Fassad talked into his walkie-talkie.  
"Yes, they're in the water. Yes, yes, oh good thank you. Yes, certainly. Ok!"  
He turned to the monkey. "Come, my good buddy, we are leaving."  
So they left the castle.


	8. Chapter 8: Money, money, money

As they returned to the village they saw the fat kid whining about his money being stolen or some shit. Fassad felt sorry for the fat kid and tried to help.  
"Did anyone see where you hid the money?" He asked kindly.  
"N NO NOONE DID!!" The fat kid sobbed loudly, his flabby stomache bouncing in a gross way.  
"And you're sure?"  
"Y YESS IM SH SHUREEE!!"  
Fassad frowned, thinking. "Well, maybe we shall have to interview the villagers then." He said.  
Then he put on a large brown top hat and a coat.  
The stupid monkey got dressed in a blue sweater, a blue hat and some shorts. He stole someones bag. I don't know why. I hate when monkeys dress up but apparently this dumbass monkey liked it.

"We will solve the mystery!" Fassad announced happily.


	9. Chapter 9: Solving puzzles

So Fassad and his crazy monkey companion asked around the town. All the dumb redneck villagers gave him shitty puzzles to solve and Fassad was like "what the hell" but because he was a kind gentleman he solved them and helped the moronic villagers with their puzzle related problems.

After a while Fassad was getting sick of filling up milk jugs and moving matches so he went back to the inn to rest. He had to dodge drunk old bastards who had more obscene puzzles about triangles and the whores who wanted him to fix their broken vases.  
Unfortunately when he got to the inn he found all the furniture was gone. He groaned but couldn't be bothered doing anything about it. It had been a long day for this handsome devil.  
He slept on the floor, and put his coat over the stupid dressed up monkey so it wouldn't get cold.


	10. Chapter 10: Hey, monkey!

In the middle of the night there came a tapping at the window.  
"Hey, monkey! Hey you stupid smelly monkey!" Came a husky voice. The monkey, which couldn't sleep because of all his fleas, looked at the window. There was the little boy with white hair and the pink haired genderless creature. And they were beckoning to him.  
The monkey didn't move. He wanted to stay with Fassad because he was such a kind hearted and loving man and he gave the dumb monkey bananas even though the monkey was really freaking dumb.

The youths opened the window-which wasn't locked because the people who ran the inn were slack dumb redneck bastards- and snuck into the room, all the while calling "monkeyyy.. monkey.."

The stupid monkey may have been stupid but he wasn't that stupid. He backed away from the creepy youths.  
But the youths kept creeping forward. Closer and closer.  
And then..

They leapt on him. Before the dumb little monkey could let out a gut wrenching scream the fierce, reckless youth had gagged him and were climbing out the window.  
Fassad never heard a thing.


	11. Chapter 11: The search and the forest

The next morning, Fassad woke to hear the birds singing merrily.  
"Ah, what a great sleep that was!" Fassad said happily. "What about your sleep, my dear monkey?" There was no reply. Fassad looked next to him. There was only just Fassads brown jacket, crumpled and lying there. Just to be sure Fassad lifted it up, but there was no monkey underneath it. The stupid monkey was gone.  
Just plain gone.  
Fassad looked around frantically. Where would the monkey go? Surely he had treated it well, well enough for it to want to stay with him?  
"Oh dear oh dear!" Fassad muttered, thoughts flooding his head. What if the monkey was in trouble? It was a stupid monkey so it wouldn't be surprising if it stepped on a snake or something.

A breeze blew through the room. Fassad paused, listening to the breeze. Breeze? But the window had been closed; he had checked that!  
He stared at the window. It was open.  
Fassad gulped. What could this mean?

Fassad rushed out of his room, almost colliding with a big haired drunkard.  
"oooOOooOoHHhHHH hheyyYYYYY i Gott a PuzzzlLLee FoorraRR YeewWW" The drunk afro man slurred.  
"I'm terribly sorry but not now, sir! I'm in a rush!"

As Fassad dashed through the ugly village-which smelt worse than it had yesterday- villagers tried to stop Fassad and get him to solve their useless and simple puzzles.

Fassad stopped and smelt the air. Underneath the stench of rotting bread, sheep poo and vomit Fassad could smell a familiar scent.. The scent of that stupid stinky flea ridden monkey!  
Sniffing the air as he went Fassad headed towards the overgrown and boring forest that resided next to the village. The monkeys putrid scent seemed to be stronger in that direction.  
"I'm coming for you, buddy. Just hold on!"

Fassad ran into the forest, bum rushing the monsters who got in his way.  
"Monkeyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!" He yelled dramatically.  
He slowed down as he heard talking.  
"Here you are monkey. You are free! Do you know what free means? No, I guess you wouldn't as you're just a stupid monkey."  
Fassad creeped closer and soon he could see the two rebel youths standing around the smelly monkey. Fassad frowned, and pulled out his walkie-talkie.  
"Brian," He whispered, "Bring some men to the woods. I've found 2 of the intruders and they.." He paused, trying to stop a sob from bursting through his manly calm and collected facade, "..They've kidnapped my monkey.."

Fassad switched off his walkie-talkie and went back to spying on the dumb punks and monkey.  
"You can go free now monkey." The little white haired grumpy boy was saying.  
Fassad grated his teeth. How dare they try and make decisions for his monkey friend?!

Soon the sound of a ta- uh I mean big car started to rumble through the woods. Fassad's reinforcements had arrived.  
The young ruffians looked up at the sound of the cars.  
"Huh? Wazzat?" Asked the pink haired thingamabob.  
"C-c-car!!" Cried the little white haired boy.  
Fassad walked out in front of them.  
"Give me back the monkey." Fassad said sternly, his typical nice-guy demeanor gone.


	12. Chapter 12: Sad goodbye

The pink haired creature and the little boy gave a cry and they ran away because they were stupid pathetic cowards and had no friends especially not a blonde haired kid riding a green dinosaur no way.  
Fassad gave the thumbs up to his comrades than ran to his flea ridden monkey companion.  
"Oh monkey monkey monkey! You're safe! I was so worried!"  
Monkey paused, his eyes reflecting the colliding thoughts that dashed around his tiny brain.  
Fassad slowly frowned as realisation hit him.  
"..Monkey... Do.. you want to be free?"  
The dumb monkey looked away. Fassad sighed.  
"If.. If you really wish.. I can let you go. I will let you go free."

Monkey looked at Fassad, tears forming in its ugly, beady little eyes.  
It nodded slowly, than stepped over and gave Fassad a big hug, it's fleas swarming between the two bodies.  
Fassad wiped away a tear from his eye.  
"I will miss you, my good friend. You've done so much for me. I.." Fassad paused to stifle a sob. "..I wish you luck for the future.. My precious buddy."  
The stupid monkey nodded again, tears dripping down it's dirty face. It slowly started to walk away when suddenly stopped.  
Turning, his eyes sparkling with tears, the monkey slowly started to dance.  
It was the dance that opened the door. It was the dance that filled their friendship. It was the dance of the heart.  
Fassad gave a sob, wiping his eyes. "G.. Go! Go, live in freedom you.. you stupid monkey!"  
And monkey ran away, his tears filling the air.


	13. Chapter 13: It'll be OK

Fassad returned to his house, far far away from Tazmily village and the forest where such sadness and inspiration happened.  
Later, he sat, alone in front of his Happy box, drinking an adults drink (which is a bitter poison).  
His wife walked up to him and patted his hand.  
Fassad looked at his loving wife, tears forming in his eyes.  
"Do you think he's alright? Do you think that silly little monkey is going okay?"  
Fassad's wife gave a small, sad smile. "Yes, dear. I'm sure wherever he is he's happy.. And I'm sure he remembers the kindness you gave him."  
Fassad gave a teary smile and leant against his wifes arm.  
"Yes.. you're right, dear. You're right.."

**THE END.**


End file.
